Mar 18, 2017 • 22M

Finding Your Goldilocks Zone

 
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Dr John Kenworthy
Hi, I am Dr John Kenworthy, a behavioural neuroscientist and expert Leadership AdvantEdge Coach. And I am thrilled that you've joined me here . My purpose is to Encourage, Develop, Guide and Empower you in the Art and Neuroscience of Expert Leadership so that you build a successful organisation and create a collaborative, high performing team with engaged, joyful employees. We call this: AdvantEdge Joy@Work
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Goldilocks is fast asleep when the bears return home. She found her perfect bed, not too big and not too soft. After eating her fill of the perfect porridge that wasnt too hot and wasn't too sweet. Goldilocks had tested the beds upstairs and fell into a deep sleep. The three bears were none too pleased with this breach of neighbourly etiquette and devour Goldilocks. Or, the Goldilocks jumps out of a window and is never seen again. Or Goldilocks explains how hungry and tired she was and befriend the forgiving bears and they all live happily ever after. Which version of the story do you believe for your life? The version usually shared with your kids probably has Mama, Papa and Baby Bear and Goldilocks escapes, is rescued from the woods by her mother and vows never to dare go in the woods again. It's the expectation that if you ever dare to find that sweet spot in your life, someone will come and immediately take it away from you for being undeserving and you can never go back to find it. And so you allow stress to build in your life. You work way too many hours and spend far longer than anyone should in pointless meetings. And then someone tells you that you must find your life/work balance as you chuckle inwardly that anyone still believing that myth is deluded. The life work balance myth I meet few people who have found their work and life balance. To most it remains a myth or a mirage in the dessert of a stressful life. We've bills to pay and children to feed. A demanding boss and impossible deadlines to meet. Who has time to exercise, eat healthy and well, play with the kids, have quality time with your partner, spend time with the family, enjoy fulfilling friendships outside work, participate in sports and be active in the community, let alone give back to society. And we all know that our time here is limited. That we are here for but a breath. There simply isnt time to have our cake and eat it. Most people I meet through my work are way out of balance. Work has taken over and become the focus of all energies. Everything else is put to one side in a pretense that one day you'll come back to it. And then something snaps. There has to be more to life than this! Work, like the big bear's bed can become too hard and like his porridge, too lumpy. It's tempting to escape out of the window and run away and become a Corporate Refugee, seeking the solace and comfort of entrepreneurship. Or you might compromise and choose to make a radical shift to do something you love and enjoy, but still pays a reasonable salary. The world used to refer to this as a 'mid-life crisis'. Only it is no longer the exclusive domain of men in their early 50's who trade the wife for a younger model and suddenly have a desire to drive a red sports car. Now it's a crisis that can hit at any age, and several times. What matters most at this point is that you choose to be at cause for your life and less at the effect of your boss. Corporate refugees Fleeing the corporate world is a desire of many. Continue doing what you do well but without the craziness of fat cat shareholders, demanding bosses and all those meetings. Instead, the lure of ëntrepreneurship tolls its bell and many set up shop. Only now there's no salary and the demanding boss is replaced by an even more demanding client (if you are fortunate enough to secure one of those!) and there's not enough money to pay people to do the drudge work. So are you an entrepreneur - building a business that employs others, or are you a freelancer? I get to meet an increasing number of young entrepreneurs who have followed their passion and desire to set up in business as a means of avoiding the corporate rat race, only to find that daddy's generosity does have an end point and suddenly the overheads and burn rate are too much to bear. Sadly, many realise too late that the skill set for running a business is not their strength and even though they are the founder, it is not always essential to be the CEO. Wit