May 31, 2019 • 20M

LA 078: You Got The Power

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Appears in this episode

Dr John Kenworthy
Helping marketplace leaders #UnStuck their true potential to thrive in life and leadership to build a successful, sustainable business with collaborative, high performance teams and Joy@Work with practical, neuroscience-based AdvantEdge Guides and coaching.
Episode details

Encourage Your aptitude (your "natural" ability to do something) is thought by many people to be the main driver of their success. We raise people with those noticeable talents onto pedestals in a form of worship. Imagine yourself as a star soccer player, or the lead singer in your favourite band, an actor in an awesome movie. There are even some people who are simply famous at being famous. But everyday life for the vast majority of people isn't a movie. Our giftedness is a little less flashy and a little more humdrum. And almost every day we come across challenges and difficulties and it is how we face those challenges that sets us apart. Indeed, since Daniel Goleman's research for his landmark book, "Emotional Intelligence", others have gone on to reinforce that the "how" you approach challenges is far more important than what you actually do to resolve them, about 80/20. How you approach something is determined by your chosen attitude to the situation. And what matters here is that you can choose your attitude in spite of your initial feelings. And choosing a good attitude will improve your outcome and sets you above in the eyes of others. As Zig Ziglar originally shared, Your Altitude is determined more by your Attitude than your Aptitude. Develop: 5 Power Attitudes My own research shows that those who are most successful over the long term share three questions they ask themselves and five power attitudes they adopt, as if they were real, to face daily challenges successfully. In your brain, the process we are going to reframe whatever the problem, challenge or situation you observe. Like me and everyone else, when you come across a problem or challenging situation, your brain notes two key things: What is perceived to be happening or what is involved - the Content, and What is the setting in which this is happening - the Context. Both of which rely on your personal judgement and perception, which is influenced by your prior experience and memory and all of your personal, cognitive biases - which inform and shape your attitude to the situation. Successful and admired leaders pause a moment before judging the situation and consider different angles and approaches to help find the optimum solution, they deliberately adopt one or more of five power attitudes: Respect the OTHER person’s model of the world The meaning of your communication is the RESPONSE you get back People are NOT their behaviours People CAN change anything There is NO failure, only feedback 1. Respect the OTHER person's model of the world The way you and I view the world is different. Everyone looks at the world through a lens shaped by memory, experience, upbringing, values, beliefs, parents, exposure to media and etc. In the USA, political party affiliations are known to shape how someone interprets the same news about a speech by a presidential candidate. Religious beliefs often determine how one person views a situation compared with someone seeing exactly the same thing, but with a different belief. I'm not suggesting that they are right and you are wrong, nor am I daring to suggest that you should change your beliefs or affiliations. I am simply asking you to respect that they have their views and you have yours. They are as entitled to their perspective as you are to yours. I'm not even asking you to wear their shoes and imagine what the situation may look like if you shared their belief, their experiences. I am suggesting that you simply have due regard for their feelings, wishes, beliefs or rights. When you look at the situation now, you may find a better way to approach the challenge that may have greater chance of success for all concerned. Wear the attitude as if it were true and see how your greater empathy build more trust. 2. The meaning of your communication is the RESPONSE you get back "I just don't get it" she said to me. That was my fault. It wasn't that she was insufficiently able to make it happen, it wasn't that she hadn't listened