Jul 11, 2019 • 13M

LA 079: How To Be An Effective Buddy Coach

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Appears in this episode

Dr John Kenworthy
Helping marketplace leaders #UnStuck their true potential to thrive in life and leadership to build a successful, sustainable business with collaborative, high performance teams and Joy@Work with practical, neuroscience-based AdvantEdge Guides and coaching.
Episode details

Coaching a colleague, a team member or anyone you know well is a challenging situation. For example, a manager usually conducts the performance review for their staff focusing on their performance in the job and team which may lead to a recommendation about salary or promotions. A coach is focussed on developing the person in their job and life but does not normally, recommend salary or promotions. As a friend, you would be interested in the other persons well-being and their feelings. You might not push them hard or challenge them in fear of breaking the relationship. As a coach, you may be pushing your client hard, challenging them deeply to improve their performance. How to Be An Effective Buddy Coach By far the best way to find a great accountability partner is to be one for each other. Below are a few tips to help you in getting the most of out of your Success Journey: 1. Get off on the right foot When you first sit down with your buddy, we recommend that you mention a couple of things up front: Reiterate the fact that you’ll be taking a lot of notes throughout the process. Recognizing the awkwardness of having an intimate conversation while writing notes up front can help the process move forward smoothly. Remind them that the reason you’re taking notes is to be able to record key themes and ideas that are necessary for helping them forge success.   Take a few minutes to discuss confidentiality. As we mentioned, a lot of the information you hear may be very personal. Reassure the participant that the information they share with you will be confidential. 2. Leave your personal bias aside We often perceive people differently than they perceive themselves. The Success Journey belongs to the participant. They must be allowed to discover who they are, not who you think they are. The most effective buddies are able to gather and process information objectively, without adding personal bias. Avoid leading questions that will validate your perceptions. The participant should be doing the majority of the talking. Certain exercises may prompt your input or participation, which will aid in the process. However, for the most part do your best to simply collect, clarify and organize the information you receive so you can help identify the patterns and themes that lead to their own discovery. The most effective buddies don’t inflate their own ego (or yours) 3. Listen Listening is an active process. Maximize the retention of the information you hear by being engaged in the process and by taking notes, recording the process or even both. Don’t rely on your memory alone to recall the information you’ll need. To be an effective buddy, it’s important for you to understand the three different types of listening: Everyday listening is usually subjective, meaning that the listener is hearing things as it relates to him/her. The listener is generally thinking of what they are going to say next and often times can’t even remember what was said to them when asked to recall it just moments later. This is not the type of listening you’ll want to use throughout the Forging Success Journey. Listening is an active process. Like a good doctor, you’re listening for the underlying heartbeat. When you are completely focused on what the other person is saying, you are listening objectively. There are no thoughts about how any of the information relates personally or professionally to you. Objective listening is much more effective than subjective listening for this process because it allows you to focus your attention on the participant. As human beings, we naturally relate what people are saying to ourselves and have the desire to interject our own experiences and ideas in order to relate or connect. Try to avoid that urge. If you feel these thoughts come up, do your best to dismiss them and focus on what the participant is sharing. While staying objective, active listening means you’re also listening to all the sensory components. You’re reading between