Public speaking is one of the top fears of many people – in fact, it’s been rated as the number one fear for some. But why is that? Is it really the act of standing in front of a group of people and talking that’s the problem?
It turns out that the real fear behind public speaking isn’t the speaking itself, but rather the fear of public humiliation. We’re all concerned about what other people think of us and being put in the spotlight can be a scary thing. We’re concerned about whether we’ll make a fool of ourselves or look out of place. We worry that people will laugh at us, ridicule us, or even outright make fun of us. This fear of looking “stupid” or “silly” is what really stands in the way of many people.
And, because we fear this, we can quickly become overwhelmed with performance anxiety. Now, any time we need to perform in front of anyone else, anxiety sets in.
Performance Anxiety is the fear or stress you experience before, during and after a performing any specific task.
Public speaking is one example, but it could be as simple as brushing your teeth or getting out of your bed or a chair. Or it could be your boss asking you a question for which you haven’t got the answer - it’s not necessarily that you don’t know the answer, but in the pressure of the moment…. Poof! It’s gone. Or maybe the factual answer is not the correct answer?
Any time that you feel pressured to perform or feel the need to meet an expectation, performance anxiety can take centre stage - your mouth dry, head aching, nauseated, shortness of breath, uncontrollable shaking, racing heart, loss of concentration and feeling overwhelmed… heck, you only need to add incredible intense chest pain and you were off to A&E and the cardiac ward!
Performance anxiety is not fun! It’s an equal opportunities affliction caring nothing for age, gender, experience, fitness or race. And fortunately, it’s all in the mind.
If only there was a way to interrupt our anxious thinking and overcome performance anxiety…
If you ever suffer from a little or a lot of performance anxiety, here’s four simple mind hacks I’ve learned from people who always appeared to be calm, cool and super-confident. And anyone can do all of them as easily as you can breathe, laugh, pose for a picture or dance. I didn’t say that you could do them all well, but easy for sure 😃.
Before we get into this, a little medical disclaimer - the information presented in this article is not medical advice and should not be used to replace the advice of a qualified medical professional. Please consult your doctor to discuss any medical issues or treatments you may be considering.
First up is the easiest of all and something you’ve been doing since birth: Breathing. Only, you probably don’t breathe well at all (few people do!)
Breathe!
Instead, deliberately breathe in through your nose for 4, hold for 4 and breathe out sharply through your mouth for 4. And do it 4 times!
This reduces your stress hormones, especially Cortisol, and triggers your vagus nerve and your Parasympathetic Nervous System and helps calm you down.
Easy peasy, right? Ready for something a little more tricky?
Have a Laugh!
No really. Laugh out loud. Start making the sound of laughter and just keep at it.
Of course you can watch the crazy, funny videos on YouTube or TikTok or wherever, or listen to a joke. Whatever tickles your fancy. Or just laugh like the laughing policeman song:
The Laughing Policeman - Charles Jolly / Penrose
It takes a while but I know that you feel way better already. That’s the dopamine rush that’s making you feel good.
And any time you witness someone performing in any capacity who kicks off with a joke… they usually think it’s to warm up the audience, which it can do (but it can backfire badly!), it’s really to warm themselves up.
Ready for a little challenge?
Pose!
This is an astounding trick to play on your own brain. Lets boost testosterone and serotonin in the brain - and a drop of dopamine for good measure :-)
You know that feeling you get at the end of a race where you win? Or when your favourite team scored the winning goal? Or maybe when you scored highest in a competition, or your name was on the coveted list? That moment when you were a winner, a victor, a conquerer, a champion?
Yes? Fantastic - that’s the feeling we’re after. What did you do with your body at that moment? Chances are it was the V for victory pose, a fist pump, a salute, hands on hips or a high five. Whichever you like the most, that’s your pose. Strike it!
No? Oh really? That’s sad. Not even once? You ever felt proud of any achievement? What did you do? A nod to yourself, a secret fist pump, a little “uha” under your breath?
You can strike a pose anyway right? Hands on hips like superwoman, V for victory like a winning runner, fist pump for a medal winner or an ace in tennis.
Strike your pose and let out a roar.
The roar’s just for added bonus 🦁
Feel the pose, close your eyes and hear the crowd cheer. They’re cheering for you. In less than two minutes, your brain is switching channels from SNS to PNS, increasing testosterone, a smidge of serotonin and a dose of dopamine. Feel it as your performance anxiety melts away and is steadily replaced by pride.
Too embarrassing for you? Head to the toilet facilities, and do it in private.
Not so tough after all, huh? A bit odd, sure, but your body is telling your brain that you are proud, a winner, victorious - and your brain, ever wanting to get the world to make sense, responds.
And now for the pinnacle of positive feelings…
Dance!
Dance is complex for your brain. There’s usually music, a beat, which involves your hearing and sense of kinaesthetic touch. There’s some sort of coordinated movement which involves your motor cortex and your body muscles which releases endorphins which make you feel good. There may be memory involved for a specific dance routine - a dose of dopamine. It can be social (some oxytocin) and it’s always fun and it makes you happy. All that and it’s good to stave off dementia, alzheimers, dizziness, anxiety and depression.
Do yourself a favour. Have a little celebration jig. Flail your arms, move your feet, swing your body.
It doesn’t need to be pretty, it doesn’t need to be coordinated, heck it doesn’t need to be in time to any music. Just do the movement and your brain will respond with the appropriate signals, chemicals and feelings because you’re celebrating with a jig - ergo, you must be in a good mood, having fun and are happy.
I saw a Tony Robbins video of his pre-stage routine and adopted something like it for myself just before a vital meeting with the board of a major organisation I’d been trying to win over against much more established and branded providers.
Just before the meeting I was anxious in the waiting area outside the conference room and I was alone. Every “what if” doubt and worry came to the front of my thoughts. There was a large mirror on the wall, but that as OK. I started my jig. I got into it. I did a few vocal exercises, a couple of fist bumps, and slowed down to breathe. I shook it all off and my intense anxiety subsided.
I was invited into the conference room all smiles and pumped and confident and then I saw the huge glass wall looking directly out into the waiting area. The very spot I had been doing my little jig… And I looked at the people and there were a few smirks and looks of disdain… Nothing to lose - I flushed beetroot and shared my little trick with them. I even got them on their feet and doing a jig.
Our fear and anxiety isn’t that we can’t perform, it’s that we will be rejected and feel humiliated!
So accept yourself. Breathe because it’s good for you. Laugh because it makes you feel good. Pose because it makes you feel victorious and dance because it’s fun.
I’m Dr John kenworthy and it’s been my pleasure to share this Joy@Work AdvantEdge Guide with you today. Thank you for joining me and supporting my work.
Remember if you ever think that you might benefit from an outside voice with a fresh perspective to challenge and empower you, your team or your organisation to a new level of performance and engagement, then let’s talk now. You can follow the link at my website joyatwork.coach
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Be blessed and have an awesome day.